The Daily Ahodian Interviews the Vice President for Generic Affairs
by Adrian Korpel
DA: Dr. Bronster, it is perhaps a bit unfair to ask you this so early in your term of office, but what are your impressions of our students so far?
Bronster: Well, in the first place, don't worry about your question being unfair. As far as I am concerned, the question of fairness or unfairness is irrelevant here. It is my firm belief that a vice president of this university should not be silent on anything. He must always, under any and all circumstances pursue the truth diligently and vigorously. It may be painful, but there it is!
DA: And what about the second place?
Bronster: What about the second place?
DA: Well, you said, "In the first place" awhile back.
Bronster: What was the question again?
DA: Your impressions of our students?
Bronster: Right. Now, that is a real interesting question that I get asked a lot. Last night, for instance, at a party in my home, by my assistant, a charming woman who has become a real intimate friend of our family. The Chairman of the Board of Regents, too, queried me on the same subject. Not in so many words, of course, but enough to show that he had really done his homework. And I may perhaps add that I deeply appreciate the concern of our regents for the well-being of this university; it sets an example for all of us, faculty and students alike. As long as the spirt of selfless outrage exists, I see no reason for gloom and doom.
DA: What particular gloom and doom are you referring to?
Bronster: I didn't actually have anything specific in mind such as, for example, the recently announced salary cut and hiring freeze. I'm sure the faculty will rise to the occasion as they always do. To inject some levity here, I'd say: once a scholar always a scholar, even under a leaking library roof. Seriously though, as long as we all assiduously strengthen our interpersonal relationships and strive for meaningful and substantive corroboration, I don't see any need for concern.
DA: Did you and your family have to make any changes in your lifestyle since coming to Ahodia?
Bronster: Well, yes and no. It depends on which particular context you operate. As a lawyer, I am naturally very much atuned to context. And my definition of that includes people, men and woman if you will. It never ceases to amaze me how humans differ in their approach to that aspect, how they tend to categorize and prioritize. Believe me, it requires a great deal of seasoned experienced oral communications competence to keep up reasonably good proficiency standards, when you're faced with those dichotomies.
DA: How are your fares going to be affected by the recent budget cuts?
Bronster: There is a real dilema here. On one hand, of course, you want to maintain a broad variety of efforts, on the other hand, you must implement rigorous cost-control measures. It makes some people unhappy and, at first glance, is not at all conducive to strengthening ongoing ties. It is natural to expect that these ties are going to suffer badly from the vagaries of cash flow. In my experience, however, faculty tend to transcend such minor commodities. The presence of an energetic, logocentric and sympathetic administration has been an important factor here in maintaining the present exprit de corpse. People know that they can always come to us and that we will listen to them. Of course, nobody is omnipotent, not even vice presidents. Sometimes your best efforts turn into a fire, and then you get burned. I think that sums up the essence of it all pretty exhaustively; it is the primal paradigm of life as we know it.
DA: Have you given any thoughts to strategic planning?
Bronster: Yes, I have. A major part of my personal agenda will bear heavily on relationships, and that obviously requires a lot of planning. My assistant and I have really been burning the midnight oil to grapple with these issues, and we're finally getting down to bedrock. I don't have to tell you that the key concept in all planning is focusing. It is, so to speak, the secret torpedo in our armamentarium, the big hammer that will crack the nut we are zeroing in on. But focusing is not going to work if you have an unsatisfactory lens, if there are too many abberations in the telescope, as an astrologist would say. So the first thing we have to do is polish the glass, if you get my metaphor. Once the grime and the scratches are removed, we can see what we are focusing on. That may turn out to be a surprise, but it is better than looking through a glass densely.
DA: How do you compare your responsibilities withthose of other vice presidents?
Bronster: In a sense, of couse, generic affairs subsume the more interesting aspects of life as we live it. And the same applies to the university as a whole. The trouble is that everybody has a different idea as to what subsume means. For myself it means something quite different than for my assistant, and her view in turn differs sharply form that of, say, my wife. And so on, all the way down the line. But, if you try to keep the overall perspective in mind, it is do-able. Although, not with pain, I'd say.
DA: It has been said that there are too many vice presidents already in the central administration. What is your response to that?
Bronster: To us a vulgarism, I'd say that's nonsense. Everybody surely realizes that prudent duplication providing redundancy in the sense of guarantee against failure. That's why we have two ears, two eyes, two legs, etc. I'll go even further: not only is it safer to have at least two of everything, it's the absolute sinus qua non for the consummation of our goals.
DA: A final question. Quite a few people insist that the university should play a more important role in the economy of Ahodia. What is your view of that?
Bronster: There is no question but that our external constituencies expect that from us. And I am grateful for their thoughtful inputs. Indeed, we shouldn't join the defaulters who tell us that neither industry nor tourists will come to a state whose main product is broccoli. On the contrary, we must think of new and innovative ways to use that product, to become world leaders in that particular field. I am therefore happy to say that we have made a positive beginning here by preparing to set up a panel of world renowned scientists from all over the country. My assistant and I have drawn up a preliminary list of experiments that look real exciting. Like Hansel and Gretal, we are not out of the woods yet, but at least we have reached the point where we aren't scared of the witch anymore.
