My Week of Wicca, Wu and Wyrd



I am writing this from the home of an old friend who lives in Boulder, Colorado, the New Age capital of the world. On my last visit, quite a few years ago, my friend had shown me the Pearl Street Mall. At the time, that mall was the hub of Hippiedom, the navel of Aquarius. It had lots of little shops that sold health crystals, Celtic crosses, body oils, incense, Tarot cards, mandalas, stone Earth goddesses and bronze Buddhas. The atmosphere was festive, with long-haired acolytes in torn jeans celebrating a holistic cosmos, full of cosy energies and beneficent emanations. Walking around, I, too, felt that the universe was good and kind, and that its benevolence focused on this little mall of mirth and mantras. But on my second visit, last night, things were different.

The esoteric shops of mystic faith had been taken over by the sleek boutiques of postmodern capitalism. Fashion had pushed out innocence, and cuteness ruled. Instead of rainbow-haired hippies, I saw suited yuppies. No one smiled at me, remarked on my aura or offered to read my palm. I had almost given up when I found a tiny bookstore that promised exotic wisdom (male and female subjects).

Going inside I heard two gray-bearded hippies arguing about the beat poets. It was a good beginning, but more was to come. I knew that the New Age had replaced the stern deity of my youth with a mellow notion, called "The Way." I was lucky, I found three books with different Ways: THE WU WAY , WICCA's WAY and THE WAY OF WYRD. I kept on browsing and my luck held. I discovered a book that told me my body was ageless. It said, "Entropy holds no fear, because it is under the control of infinite organizing power." I thought sadly of all the time I had wasted in college trying to understand entropy, and how much I had feared it, especially just before a test. What foolish things we do when we are young!

Finally, in a holistic journal called Nexus, I found my missing acolytes. They had gone mail order, but they were all still there. For very reasonable fees I could avail myself of their healing rituals, unknown to myopic western medicine: Esogetic Colorpuncture, Herbal Body Wrap, Pranic Healing, Feng Shui, Osho Tibetan Pulsing, Holistic Dentistry (with effective alternatives to flossing), Cranio Sacral Therapy and much, much more.

I'd like to go on. I haven't even mentioned how you open up the chakras in your astral body with charged crystals. But it has to wait. I have an appointment with Yogiraj Ravi Holzbein. For Quantum Healing. Wish me luck.

At Random - Adrian Korpel