It's too bad universe is so disappointing



Thanks to phased retirement, I've had some time to reflect on the really big questions such as Life, the Universe, the Soul, that kind of thing. And I've come to some interesting conclusions, one of which is that the universe is kind of disappointing, not a big deal really.

Now, I realize that this sounds pretty presumptuous, coming from someone who barely managed to get tenure. "Where do you get off?" you'll say -- even Einstein was in awe of the universe. Granted, but I'll argue that Einstein forgot about something: the size of his brain.

The first step in my argument is dogs. Dogs do not understand math. They can't even count, let alone figure out sales tax. (Cats, by the way, are no better in that respect, although in brains they beat dogs paws-down.) So far so good: Dogs don't need math, and what you don't need, evolution doesn't hand out.

The second step in the argument is people. We understand math, we know how to count. And just as well. With us there is more at stake than burying bones. We have to keep track of our family and friends, for example. Think of sending Christmas cards. So OK, we need math and we got it. Evolution works.

Now comes the fiendishly clever, third step in my argument: higher math. Like rocket scientists use. Why did evolution give us higher math? Did it ever help us when saber-tooth tigers were after us? Would a rocket scientist have escaped cave bears? Of course not! So why did we get something we didn't need and never asked for?

Step four: the universe. With higher math we understand the universe. We can figure out the big bang, the quarks, the gluons, the black holes, the galaxies, the whole show.

Final step: our brain. This is an extremely small computer. It weighs less than my laptop, for heaven's sake.

Now for the conclusion. How come two ponds of spongy hardware -- which we never asked for -- can understand the universe? Think about that for a minute -- get it? Right: There can't be much to understand, if we can figure it all out We are only one step up from a dog, after all. So what does all this lead up to? You guessed it, the universe is no big deal.

I really hate to come to that conclusion, mind you. I'd much rather be awed by the universe. I used to be awed by just the names of the stars in it: Betelgeuse, Rigel, Epsilon Eridani, ALpha Centauri. Still there's no getting away from feeling let down. Fifteen billion light years across, and it fits within our brain. Isn't that something?

At Random - Adrian Korpel